i’m okay with being misunderstood. because fuck it. i’m tired of trying to explain to people who are supposed to be close to me, yet are clearly too fucking blind to my current situation in LIFE to understand what i am going through. 

am i supposed to be one of those types who’s constantly on some “on my grind” and “#teamgrind” shit? fuck. that. i’m all about being ambitious and goal oriented, but half the people who say that shit don’t have anything to show for it. i’d rather show and PROVE.

so i graduated college and had to move home. so what? i got a job as a teacher immediately. kept it for a year until i moved onto a better job, something that would suit my resume and get me better gigs in the future. a year later i moved here to new york, to continue attempting to move onto bigger and better things. i hit a very rough patch last year in the fall after not getting a job that i had already interviewed/trained for a week for. but you know what? i still pushed forward. I interviewed for several other jobs, had several other upsets, and went through a brief period of depression.

does that mean i’m not fucking ambitious? does that mean i’m not fucking goal-oriented? i spent 22 years of my life in school, i graduated college and have been either working or TRYING to work ever since. i hit a rough patch for a few months and all of the sudden i’m not goal oriented?

can you even fathom a human being who doesn’t want to be judged by whether or not they “got their name out” in the end? someone who just wants to live in the sun, create, and enjoy the time they were given on earth…?

if a female human being who has low points every once in a while is considered unattractive, i’ll be that.